Learning to Trust

I have been out of my abusive relationship for 9 months. My ex-husband would tell me I was worthless, stupid, ugly, fat, evil, selfish, jealous, greedy. He would yell at me at the top of his lungs and corner me in the room. He would throw things around me and destroy the house. He yells at the kids and scares them. He only knows how to lie, doesn't even know the truth any more. I have been in counseling the entire 9 months. Every week I see my counselor, sometimes more. I have no ability to trust a man. Every man I meet I think is a liar. Every man is an abuser. I cannot even look at a white man without seeing something in him that reminds me of my ex. I am told by my family to get over it, but its not that easy. Every day I wake up I think of him, every day something triggers me and I end up wanting to hide in my apartment and check out from the world. It takes a huge effort for me to get up and work, go to the grocery store, have dinner with a friend. I had no idea that the verbal and emotional abuse would impact me in this way. I hope someday it goes away, but when will that be? When will I be free of self-loathing and self-sabotage? When will I be free of sadness and anger? I wish I knew. Thank you for giving me a place to vent.